Why We Stay Stuck (Inner -> Outer)

This past week, I was giving a talk in Miami, and one of the other speakers hosted a book exchange. The prompt was to bring two of your favorite business books to share with other attendees.

I brought “As a Man Thinketh” — a short book by the 1900s psychologist James Allen that had planted an early seed for me.

It’s short. And it’s not on the surface about business at all. But it carries a huge idea:

Everything in our life — how we show up, how we create, how we connect — it’s all shaped by the thoughts we hold most deeply.

It’s an exposition of Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he“

I didn’t fully understand this concept prior.

Like most of us, I thought the problems I faced could be fixed with better tools, better systems, better strategies.

If I could just find the right approach, the right method, everything else would fall into place.

But I’ve learned that almost all the external issues we try to fix with external solutions don’t actually work — at least, not in a real or lasting way.

Because they don’t address the real system underneath.

A bad system, will beat a good person, every s.i.n.g.l.e. time.

And the most profound system that shapes our behavior, and ultimately our reality, isn’t one imposed from the outside, but rather the one within that directs our behavior and our attention.

The Real Operating System

Our operating system isn’t just our routines or our environment.

It’s the language we use, the beliefs we hold, and the values that flow from them.

Psychologists like Albert Bandura talk about self-efficacy — this idea that what we believe about ourselves determines whether we will actually act or not.

If you believe you’re capable, you move. If you don’t, you stay stuck — no matter how many productivity hacks you try. I’ve seen this firsthand with many clients.

And James Clear says the same thing in Atomic Habits:

The real change comes from shifting your identity — not just your habits.

So if we’re not willing to get honest about what’s driving us — the beliefs underneath the behavior — nothing else will really stick.

Socrates → the Desire for Good

Socrates said that no one does wrong willingly — that we can’t work against what we see as our own good.

And that’s what I’ve seen again and again:

When we’re stuck in burnout or busyness, it’s not because we’re lazy or unfocused.

It’s because, somewhere deep down, we think our worth is tied to our output.

When we’re overwhelmed, it’s not just because of bad scheduling — it’s because we see time as a constraint, something to fight instead of something to collaborate with.

Our external time problems flow downstream of our beliefs.

Culture, and the Culture Within

We talk a lot about culture in society — what we worship, what we value, what we hold as the highest good.

But what we don’t talk about enough is that each of us carries an inner culture, too — a private set of beliefs that shape how we move through the world.

Sociologists like Émile Durkheim say that culture is about shared ideals — and that’s true. But it’s also about the private ideals we live by, even if we never say them out loud.

And if that inner culture is built on fear, or scarcity, or the belief that we’re never enough, no external tool will ever save us.

We’ll sabotage every new system we try.

We’ll stay stuck in the same old cycles — because we’re trying to fix the outside, when the real work is inside.

Why This Matters for Me (and Us)

That’s why just presenting a planning tool as a solution to the problem of time many experience isn’t enough.

Even though the Monk Manual is the only planner that actively reprograms the brain — with reflection prompts and practices to go beyond the to-do list — I know that’s just one part of the work.

Because the real shift?

It doesn’t come from changing the external planning system.

It comes from being honest about what you see as good, what you really value — and how those beliefs shape everything you do.

It comes from changing one’s internal system and culture.

The Deeper Work

This isn’t just about fixing procrastination or chaotic schedules or feeling overwhelmed.

It’s about laying a foundation for a life that feels real — a life where you’re not always chasing, not always stuck in that low hum of “never enough.”

When you build from that place — when you live in alignment with what you really hold as good — everything else starts to change.

The end of procrastination? The peace in the middle of busy seasons?

That’s just the cherry on top.

The real gift is your potential — and what you choose to do with it.

A Final Thought

I shared As a Man Thinketh, because it showcases a simple idea that once seen is hard to unsee.

Once you see how much of your behavior is shaped by one’s paradigms, you stop focusing on winning the battle for personal growth and peace on the front lines of mechanized behavioral change, you seek to change the system that makes those behaviors inevitable.

It’s not about positive thinking — it’s about the quiet courage to face what’s really driving you, and to build a life that’s yours.

—Steven